A Christmas Tale
by xxghostxofxaxlovexx
Summary: Lily has never really gotten to know the Marauders, but she does know that they're hiding something. This story is told through Lily's POV, and how she remembers back to a week in her seventh year. The year she found out a big secret about the Marauders,
1. A Christmas Tale

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter!

Hello everyone. My name is Lily Potter. Yes, that's right, Potter. I know, I know, James Potter, the one and only. The arrogant, bullying git, or at least he can be. So, yes, as much as I would sometimes like to deny it, yes. He is my husband. My husband, partner, friend, and lover. And as annoying as he can be sometimes, I still thank God for it every day.

As of right now, I am comfortably wrapped in his arms, with our new son, Harry, curled in my lap. A storm is raging outside, thunder, lightning, the whole works. I am gazing at the fireplace, watching the flames slowly die as the embers glow red. I have no idea what the time is. I suspect that we've been here, like this for some time now. Harry has been asleep for hours and James, considering his now loose grip on my waist, has just fallen asleep too.

These are my favorite times as a family. Not that I don't still love them awake. But when we're all together like this, it's nice to think about things. I love to reflect on us as a family without the crying of a baby, or Sirius, Remus, or Peter coming over. I mean I love Harry, and I don't mind having the guys over, but time having time with my guys, no interruptions, is my most treasured time.

I especially love to reflect during this time of year, Christmas. Christmas Eve is special to many people all over, but not like it is to me. Christmas Eve, is the night that I fell in love with James Potter. Not many people know that, I don't think even James knows it, but he doesn't have to. It's special to me. I don't know if it's because I had found the love of my life, though that's the most likely reason, but I happen to think it's ironic that he tried for seven years to win my love, and he won it when he wasn't even there. Are you a bit confused? Well let me tell you, I remember it like it was yesterday………..

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: 1987  
(My seventh year at Hogwarts, one week before Christmas Eve)

"Peter, hurry! Come on! You're so going to miss the train!" I shouted to Peter, as we ran frantically down the corridors to the main entrance.

"I-I'm – coming!" he huffed, slowly making his way after me.

It was the evening before the start of Hogwarts Christmas break. It was also a full moon. James and Sirius were in their dorm with Remus before tonight, so I was left to help poor Peter haul his things down to the carriages. He was the only one of the four marauders to be going anywhere for break that year. I was also staying at Hogwarts that year. Alone with the remaining marauders. Consequently, almost the entire population of the school, including some teachers, were leaving for the two week period (I believe the Weird Sisters were performing somewhere in Bristol, probably where they were all going). Just my luck. I doubled back to help Peter, and about three minutes later, he was in a carriage driving away.

As I made my way back up to the castle, I heard it. The laugh. No I was not insane and hearing people laugh in my head, it was a real laugh. Not just any laugh either, it was the laugh of James Potter. The moment I heard it I knew it was trouble. James had a certain prank-making laugh so that you always tell when he was doing something stupid. I quickened my pace as I walked up to the castle. I didn't have to look very far as I got inside. It was Severus Snape. A Slytherin seventh year, and the mortal enemy of the marauders.

As I strode quickly over, I assessed the scene in front of me. James, Sirius, and some bystanders were all in a circle. In the middle was Snape. He now had crimson and gold striped hair, and was wearing an extremely ugly gold dress. He was also bound and gagged. He would have almost looked funny if it hadn't been so cruel.

"James! What did you do?" I shouted, my temper rising

"Come off it Evans, you know it's funny! And- hey, wait a minute! Why is it your shouting my name, Sirius's is the one who did it!" he said defensively

"I don't care who did it you git! You fix him right now! Both of you!"

As I stomped away, I could hear more laughter from the little group that had formed around them. He was so immature it made me sick! He was always pulling some prank or asking me out. He just wouldn't take the message though. I think I had already turned him down about 385 times just that year. As I was thinking, I heard it.

"Lily!"

I didn't even have to turn around, I knew who it was. It was James. And I already knew what he was going to do, say Snape had it coming, and then ask me out. So predictable. So I didn't bother to turn around. I ignored him and kept walking.

And I kept walking. I walked past many a classroom, bracing myself for the nagging voice of James Potter behind me. But it never came. I kept walking, all the way to the common room, my dorm, and finally to my bed, where I preceded to throw myself on top of the covers.

I didn't see the point of going down to and early supper, the marauders always ate an early supper on the day of the full moon. I think it had something to do with Remus's transformation, but I don't know what they have to do with it. Well whatever the reason, I didn't want to be around them at all. So I settled my self in a seat by the window with a very large, very heavy book, Hogwarts, a History.

After I had read it for a very short time, I felt my eyes start to wander. I glanced outside, it was getting dark already. I looked at my watch, 7:53, not too bad. I got up, took a shower and went down to the common room. Peace. Those annoying marauders were gone. I settled down with my favorite book, Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare.  
I guess I didn't read it for too long, because I woke up to a dark common room. The fire was almost completely burned out; only small embers were left glowing. As I blinked my eyes, I heard something move from near the portrait hole.

"Who's there?" I asked, suddenly more alert.

No response. I slowly moved into a sitting position. I heard another creak, this time, in the shadow just behind the bookcase across from the couch where I was sitting.

"W-who's there?" I asked, a little frightened now. I knew that Hogwarts creaked and squeaked all the time, but it sounded like someone was walking slowly in the shadows. I stood up from the couch, carefully walking backward toward the door. Suddenly, I was grabbed from behind, and dragged into the darkness. My attacker was careful to cover my mouth with their glove covered hand so I couldn't scream. I was too scared to do much of anything though. No, this was not a marauder prank, they wouldn't go this far, or would they?


	2. Full Moon

Disclamer: I own absolutely nothing HP! (though I sometimes have dreams that I do!)

As my attacker pointed a wand straight at my head, I began to shake. They muttered a simple incantation.

"Imperious." They said. They then whispered something that I couldn't hear. Within moments of the words, they were gone. Gone into the darkness that now filled the Gryffindor common room. I didn't have time to even think about escaping, because seconds later, my legs started to move for me. Not that I wouldn't have ran out of there voluntarily, but this was different. My legs were moving even though I didn't make them. Then I remembered, the Imperious Curse.

The Imperious Curse is one of great control. It gives the attacker full control of the victims free will. And they can bend it to make them do whatever they please. I wished I had heard what the person in the common room had whispered, then at least I might have some idea where I was going. As scared as I was, I had no choice but to go along with the ride.

I made my way through the castle, going as quietly as I could so as not to wake the remaining staff and students sleeping. I quickly made my way through the corridors, and outside to the grounds. As I walked, Hogwarts disappeared over many hills. I began to get worried, and I was shaking because of my lack of proper clothing. I continued on like this for a few minutes, dread growing with each step. Then I saw it, the willow. The whomping willow to be exact (I believe the name speaks for itself) and my feet were leading me right towards it. I knew within moments that this was the place my attacker meant for me to go. The only question was why. Why would anyone want to send me here? Then I heard an earsplitting howl.

It sounded like it came from the willow, but that was impossible. Whatever it was though, I was apparently going to figure it out. I slipped silently passed the willow, and let myself down into a tunnel beneath it. Then I heard it again, that horrible howl. It seemed so close that it almost echoed in the dark tunnel. I wanted so desperately to just turn around and run away, but I couldn't. As I kept going, I heard the howl again and again, sometimes incorporated in with an animal bark or a loud thumping noise. As I rounded the last curve in the tunnel, I found a trap door. I pushed it up, and found myself in the center of the shrieking shack.

It had seemed so unlikely to me at the time, that I didn't even think of this as the place where I would end up. To add to my fear, I had never recalled hearing of anyone actually stepping foot in that old house before. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash above me, and a very hairy, very scary looking werewolf came bounding down the stairs straight towards me!

I didn't even have a chance to react to the situation; I was frozen on the spot. Out of nowhere, came a huge, white stag, and started to fight with the werewolf, who was so desperately trying to get at me. I screamed and ran into the closest room I could find. I shut the door, but before I had a chance to barricade it with anything, something grasped my wrist, and turned me sharply around. I soon found myself staring face to face with Sirius Black.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" he whispered, staring intently at me. He was extremely dirty and he reeked of dog.

Before I had a chance to respond, there was a loud thud against the door, then another, something was trying to get in. Sirius quickly grabbed my hand and led me to the other side of the room. The thudding got persistently louder and more aggressive. Sirius squeezed my hand tightly, as I looked up at his face, there was fear etched in his eyes, and he was staring at the door. All was silent for a few moments, and then I heard a whimper from beyond the door. The door fell to the floor. The werewolf was crouched in the doorway, breathing heavily. Beyond him, in the other room, was the stag, now red with blood. He wasn't moving.

"Prongs-"whispered Sirius, so quietly it was barely audible.

Prongs, that name was familiar, and then I realized, it was James. The stag was James. I couldn't believe it. I never thought those marauder nicknames meant anything. But now I realized Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs. Remus, Peter, Sirius, James. I couldn't grasp it. Remus, the very werewolf that was about to attack and kill us. But that meant…….

Just at that moment, Sirius leaped forward, transforming into a large, black dog. He growled at Remus, but the werewolf was only interested in me. He lunged at me; Sirius tackled him, but not before Remus got a good chunk out of my shoulder. They tackled each other, and started wrestling violently on the floor. I tried to take a breath, but I couldn't. I backed slowly away, but tripped over a chair and crawled quickly into a corner. I felt the blood flowing freely out of my shoulder, but I was staring transfixed on the two fighting just feet in front of me. They were fighting very viciously, I was terrified. The werewolf flung the dog through the air with a great force, it landed with a hard thump right beside me, in my pool of gathering blood. It soon transformed back into Sirius, who remained motionless. I bent over him, and brushed the hair away from his face. He was unconscious. I looked at the werewolf, who was panting on floor and past him to James, who hadn't moved from his position.

Suddenly, the werewolf started to growl. He looked straight into my eyes. I couldn't see  
Remus in them anywhere, that scared me. He straightened up, and was about to come at me again, when I saw it. The tiniest sliver of light coming from the tattered curtain beside me. The werewolf suddenly contorted in pain, and then I heard a scream that was neither human nor animal. I gripped my shoulder and looked away. Then screaming ceased, and I glanced back around. The werewolf was finally gone, leaving in its place a very pale, very beat up looking Remus Lupin. He crawled toward me with enormous effort, and stopped on the other side of Sirius.

"No…" he breathed, looking away, toward the door. This was not the best thing to do because he saw James, who had transformed back during the fight and was now lying in a pool of blood.

"God.… no……." Remus started to shake. He then looked up at me, tears in his eyes. He reached across Sirius's body and touched my cheek. He saw my shoulder. "L-Lily, w-what? What did I do?" he stammered, his eyes boring into mine. He suddenly cried out in pain, and clenched his stomach. I could see red starting to seep through his torn shirt.

"I'm s-so s-sorry." He whispered, and collapsed over Sirius's body. That's the last thing I remember about that day, because shortly after Remus collapsed, I fainted from the blood loss in my shoulder. I can vaguely remember hearing shouts of panic, and lots of red, but then everything went pitch black.

- - - - - - - - - -  
A/N: Just to clear up the question that some people have been asking, no. Lily did not get turned into a werewolf. When Remus attacked her arm, he used his claws, not biting her. So now you know! -tootles :0)


	3. Aftermath

Disclamer: I don't own anything HP.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Hospital Ward  
(Six days before Christmas Eve)

My head was throbbing, my eyelids felt so heavy I couldn't lift them. My whole body ached and was too tired to even move. I could tell I'd been moved, I was in an unusually comfortable, warm bed. I strained my ears, and I heard two people talking.

"How are they all Poppy?"

"Well Headmaster, none of the them were bitten, but this one took a pretty nasty beating."

"What about the other three, are they alright?"

Well Sir, This one here has been through the mill. Five broken bones and he's bleeding out of everywhere. The girl is out cold, she lost a lot of blood, but she'll wake soon I expect. As for Mr. Black, he's going to be fine. I don't know where he's gone off to though."

When I heard Sirius's name, everything came back to me. The attack, the spell, the willow, the shrieking shack. Everything. James, Remus, Sirius, my shoulder, all that blood everywhere. I shot open my eyes and looked around. Madam Pomfrey was standing at the foot of my bed with Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts. They seemed to notice my awakening, and turned to look at me.

"Ah, Ms. Evans, pleased to see you're awake," smiled the headmaster warmly, "We were very worried."

"T-thank you," I stammered, glancing at the two beds across from mine. James was propped up in one, looking terrible. His face was bruised, and his arm was in a cast. He had a wrap around his head, and around his waist. The other bed, I guessed was Remus. I couldn't see his face from under all the blankets. Neither of them were moving.

"Headmaster, where is Sirius?" I asked.

He looked at me very concerned, "First, Ms. Evans, we must address the reason of your stay here. Tell me, how did you find out about young Mr. Lupin and the Shrieking Shack?"

As I relayed to him everything from that previous night, I began to feel guilt. As wrong as it was for Sirius and James to be with Remus on a full moon, I couldn't help feeling that this was all my fault. As if he had read my mind, the headmaster spoke again.

"You must understand Lily, that if what you say is true, then none of this is your fault. You must know that."

"I know." I whispered quietly, "Please Sir, where is Sirius? Is he alright?"

"Yes my dear, apart from a few cuts and bruises, he should be just fine--physically anyway." That last part he said was quieter than the first, and he had a sad look in his eyes.

"Please, where is he?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath, "Mr. Black in his dorm room, he won't come out."

It took a long time for me to convince Madam Pomfrey that I was perfectly capable of leaving my bed. After about an hour, and some coaxing from the headmaster, she finally gave me a clean bill of health. I walked through the halls, feeling the eerie silence. It was strange that Hogwarts was so quiet, even if the entire school was gone. It seemed as if the very walls were dripping with grief.

As I walked into the common room, I could instantly smell alcohol. I knew exactly where it was coming from, Sirius Black. I climbed the boy's stair, and down the hallway to the marauders dorm room. It was locked.

"Sirius," I asked uncertainly, "Are you in there?"

That was a silly question, of course he was in there, the question was, would he come out?

"Sirius, I'm coming in." I said, jiggling the doorknob one more time.

"Alohamora."

>>sry. i havent updates sooner, you know with thanksgiving and all. i hope you like the story so far...

hey i posted a one-shot story called _Finding Harry_ can yiou guys please check it out and see how ya like it?

thanx


	4. Repercussions

Disclamer: I don't own anything Harry Potter.

The door creaked open, and I stepped inside. The room smelled like alcohol. Sirius was sitting in the window sill, a bottle in hand. As if he had been slapped out of a dream world, he turned suddenly at me.

"You." He said, his eyes were filled with fury and confusion. "Why did you have to go there? This is your fault!" He turned away, to hide the silent tears falling down his face.

I didn't dare go any closer to him, for fear of what he might do. So I stood my ground, and told him exactly what had happened the previous night.

It was as if a light had gone off in his head. He turned suddenly to me, frowning slightly, as if he were trying to answer a difficult question. "Snivellous." He whispered, shaking his head as if he didn't believe it.

"Severus Snape, what's he got to do with this? Didn't he leave for break?" I asked, thoroughly confused. I took a step towards him, confidant that he didn't blame me now for last night's events. "Sirius, I don't understand."

"It was him!" Sirius shouted suddenly," I just know it!"

"Sirius wh-" but I was cut off

"It was Snape who cursed you last night! Damn him! I should have known!" At this, Sirius calmed down enough to stop shouting, though the hate still shone bright in his eyes. "Yesterday afternoon, when we were hexing Snape, he said James was going to pay dearly this time. Of course no one believed him, no one thought that-" Sirius now struggled to keep his emotions under control. "Lily, everyone in school know's James has a thing for you, and Snape thought this would be the perfect revenge. He endangered the one thing James cared most about. That dirty git got all of us back. I mean you and Remus-," his eyes now filled with tears," You didn't do anything."

I didn't know how to react to this news. It sounded convincing enough, yet there was one thing missing. "Sirius, how did Snape know that Remus was a werewolf? How did he know how to get past the whomping willow?"

Sirius looked as if he had been punched in the gut. His face drained of all color, and his eyes were overflowing with guilt. "M-me. This isn't Snape's fault, it-it's mine. If I had just kept my mouth shut, if I had only-" At that point, his emotions overtook him. He leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor covering his face in his hands.

I quietly went over to him, crouched in front of him. I gently took his hands in mine, and removed them from his face. I looked strait into his eyes. They were empty. He seemed empty. He merely stared at something over my shoulder, silent tears streaming down his face. "Sirius?" I asked, hoping he would tell me something, anything. He continued to stare into space; it was as if he couldn't hear me anymore.

After awhile, I retreated to the bed nearest him. I curled up my knees to me chin, and I waited in the silence. Sirius seemed to be beyond himself with grief. It was like he was zoned out of everything except his thoughts. We sat together in the silence. After what seemed like hours, Sirius suddenly spoke.

"About two years ago, in our fifth year." Sirius said, and then he was silent, as if that explained it all. Then he spoke again," In our fifth year, I told Snape how to get into the willow one night. I-I don't know why I did it; I don't even remember doing it. I was drunk I think. If it hadn't been for James, he would probably be dead, and Remus would be in Azkaban. Of course, Snape wouldn't accept the fact that James wasn't in on it, and he's had it out for all of us ever since." He sighed and wiped his eyes before he continued. "I almost lost everything that night. It took James and Remus weeks to forgive me. Now, two years later, it still comes back to haunt me. Now I've endangered them all over again, not to mention you." He looked over at me, "I'm so sorry."

He turned away from me again, covering his face in his hands once more. We both sat there, in stunned silence. Sirius's body was shaking from his sobs. Peter was gone, James and Remus were both unconscious in the hospital wing, and it was all his fault. No matter how much I felt sorry for him, there was no changing that fact. I did the only thing I could do. I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me, not even trying to hide his sobs in anymore.

"I'm so sorry." He said, and his eyes showed it.

"Sirius, I forgive you. Shhh-" He rested his head on my shoulder, once more letting his tears overtake him.

We stayed like that for some time. It seemed to help Sirius a little. Slowly his tears slowed to a stop. He never looked up at me, but I could tell he was calming down. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat near the doorway. It was Dumbledore.

"Ms. Evans, I see you've found Mr. Black," he said, understanding in his eyes," If you two should wish, Madam Pomfrey will allow you to go and see them now, she has done all she can do."

"P-professor, what do you mean 'all that she can do'?" asked Sirius, now staring at the Headmaster.

"Well, she has treated them to the best of her ability, and has also been in contact with healers at St. Mungo's, where they have determined that they could do nothing further there to treat the boys there. Therefore, Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin will be residing in our hospital wing until such time as they awake, and fully recover." With that, he was gone."

"Do you think you can go down yet?" I asked Sirius uncertainly.

He waited a long time before he spoke," Let's go."

As we walked down the corridors, Sirius remained quiet. I didn't know how to talk to him, or if I even should. Don't get me wrong, I was terrified of what would happen with Remus and James, but I couldn't begin to understand what he was feeling. The relationship between the marauders was one no one could explain. They were like brothers, but more than that. Those four had a bond that most people could only dream of. They were each other's family. In Sirius's case, the only family he had. I could never understand that. So I didn't try. I think that he was more comfortable in the silence, where he could process everything, and deal with it in his own way.

When we arrived at the hospital wing, I noticed that Sirius had suddenly gone from my side. I turned around, where I saw him stop to a dead halt five feet behind me. His eyes were filled with terror. He was staring at the door. I saw the fear in his eyes and I knew what was happening.

"Sirius, I know you're scared, but I'm going to be with you the whole time. I promise." I said, feeling sorrier for him, if that was even possible.

"I just remembered seeing them." he said, sinking into a chair. "When I first woke up."

"Tell me." I pleaded; he needed to vent his emotion.

He was staring at the floor in disbelief, replaying the scene in his head. It was a long while before he said anything. " Remus. He was in a bed, he was thrashing around. I don't know what was wrong with him, but Madam Pomfrey was holding his shoulders trying to steady him. James was in another bed, he wasn't moving at all, I don't even think his chest was moving. Y-you, you were in he bed next to me, unconscious. I was so angry at you," he looked up at me," I'm sorry Lils. I didn't know." He told me for the tenth time.

"Sirius," I walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. "I forgive you, you didn't know. And trust me," I said, pulling him into a hug," I promise that when I left, they both looked more peaceful." At this, Sirius calmed down some what.

"James was breathing?" he asked, a glint of a smile on his lips.

"Yes, of course." I said exasperated.

At these words, Sirius seemed to gain strength. He got up from his seat, and extended his hand out to me. I gladly took it, and he helped me up. We walked to the door side by side. We stopped right in front of it, and Sirius sighed.

"I'm glad you're with me Lily. Thanks. I can see why James has a thing for you." I smiled at him, and we pushed open the door.

Before I had a chance to take in anything, Sirius pushed past me. He walked right over to the nearest bed. I followed closely behind. It was Remus; he was lying as still as I first saw him earlier that day. Now that I actually saw his face, he looked bad. His face was bloody and bruised. I got a chair and pulled it up beside the bed. Sirius remained standing. His eyes were fixed on his unconscious friend; I doubted he even remembered that I was there. I took Remus's hand in mine. It was cold. Sirius wiped the hair away from Remus's face.

"God Moony, I'm so sorry." He grabbed Remus's other hand and held it in his. He must have felt how cold it was too because he began rubbing it between his own hands, creating warmth. "It's going to be alright, you'll see. I'll get him back for this. I promise."

I assumed that Sirius was talking about revenge against Snape. I didn't really think that that was the best idea at the moment, but I kept that to myself for the time being. Sirius didn't need to have any sort of conversation right then. He needed the silence; it was the only thing keeping him calm.

The silence was short lived, because in a few moments, Madam Pomfrey came scurrying out of a curtain surrounding another bed. I guessed it was James's. "Oh my dears, you're here. Well, I'm glad. You can go and see Mr. Potter now if you'd like." She smiled and walked briskly into her office.

Sirius looked longingly at the curtain surrounding James's bed, and then back at Remus. "L-lily," he stammered, "You go in first, please."

"Of course." I said. I hated seeing him so insecure. He was torn between the bedsides of both of his friends.

As I slid behind the curtain, I left Sirius leaning over Remus, whispering softly to him. I walked slowly over to the bed. There were potion bottles all over the bedside table, next to a pair of round, black glasses. I picked up a bottle, it was a blood replenishing potion. I looked at James (He actually looked good without his glasses on). He was extremely pale, I guessed it was from the lack of blood. He had no shirt, his waist was bandaged in gauze. There was blood seeping through the cloth.

"Oh James," I whispered to him. He looked so bad. I may have had an awkward relationship with him at the time, but I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I gently stroked his cold hand, whispering words of comfort to him, unsure of whether he could hear me or not.

In a few moments, I heard a sniff from the other side of the curtain, and in came Sirius. His eyes were swollen and red. When he saw James, he didn't looked surprised or scared. He simply walked over to him, pulled up a chair to his bedside, and sat down. He leaned back, crossed his arms, and stared at him. There was everything in his eyes, pain, sorrow, guilt. He was emotionally exhausted. I gave his shoulder a squeeze to let him know I was there, and left him to be alone with James.

Sadly, I walked back to Remus, and sat down next to him. I hated to see everyone like that. I hated to see James and Remus lying there, helpless. I hated seeing Sirius so broken, like he'd given up hope. The only thing I could do for him now was give him some time alone. So I stayed with Remus, holding his hand, listening to the sobs from Sirius on the other side of the curtain.

I sat there for at least an hour in silence. Then Madam Pomfrey came out of her office.  
"Oh, your still here," she said, "I was just going to change some of their bandages before I turn in for the night."

"What time is it?" I asked, looking outside, it was dark. I hadn't realized we'd been there for that long.

"It's 1:30 dear. I was going to tell you, but you seemed busy." She said, looking at me with sadness in her eyes. "If you wish, you and Mr. Black may stay here for the night." And with that, she went behind the curtain to James. I waited for Sirius, assuming he'd want to leave while she changed James's cuts, but he never came.

As I waited for him, I lay down on the bed nearest to Remus. I turned on my back and looked up at the ceiling. Eventually my eyes started to droop, and even thought I tried to fight it, I felt myself drift to sleep.


	5. Waiting

-1Disclamer: I OWN EVERYTHING! I OWN THE WORLD! SLAP Ok, I don't, but a girl can dream right?!

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Hospital Ward  
(Five days before Christmas Eve)

I woke up sometime the next morning, quite comfortably. It seemed that someone had covered me in a blanket the previous night and removed my shoes. I took in a breath of the cold air, and instead got a different smell. Egg.

Eggs is more what it smelled like, and bacon. I opened my eyes and looked around. Beside me was a tray full of food. It had bacon, eggs, pancakes, and fresh fruit. As I turned over to my side a little more, I remembered where I was. Remus was in the bed next to me, still unconscious. I looked past him a ways to the other side of his bed. There was a crumpled heap, lying face down in the blanket on the bed. Sirius. He was asleep face down beside Remus. He must have covered me sometime during the night.

I thought it better not to wake him for the time being, he needed rest. In fact, I don't think he had slept since the night it all started. It was my turn to take care of him. I put a warming spell on the food to keep it hot, and covered Sirius in a blanket. Then I left to take a shower.

After I had finished, I went to my dorm room to change and collect a few things. I took my favorite books, and some unfinished homework. I put them in my bag and started back to the hospital wing.

When I got there, Sirius was gone. The blanket lay folded on my bed. I could hear soft whispers from James's curtain, and I knew where he was. The food lay untouched where I had left it, the heating charm still intact. I set my bag down on my self-appointed bed and went over to the curtain. I noticed Sirius was spending more and more time in there. I don't think it was necessarily because he favored James, but because the curtain could separate him from the rest of the world. I quietly slipped through the curtain and to James's bedside. Sirius looked up at me.

"Hey," he said, wiping his eyes, "Where did you go?"

"Just to take a shower and to get a few things."

"Oh."

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you need to go anywhere, get anything?"

"No, I'm good."

"Are you sure, because I'll stay with them, I promise."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I just leave for a little while."

"Ok. I promise I'll be right here."

"Hey Lils?"

"Huh?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Sirius shot one more saddened look at James, then left through the curtain, leaving me with James. I heard him walk slowly away. Then I turned to James.

"You're the luckiest guy in the world," I said quietly, smoothing his hair, "To have a friend like that. I envy you."

I sat by his side for a few minutes longer, and then retreated to my bed to get a book. I tried to read, but my eyes kept wandering to Remus's bed, or to James's curtain. I couldn't concentrate on the story. I eventually gave up and stared out the window.

Before I knew it, there was a noise from behind the door. In came Sirius, his arms filled with various items. "Hey, a hand here!" he said hurriedly, swaying under the weight of the load. As serious as the mood was in the hospital wing at that moment, I couldn't help but laugh at him. I rushed over to him and took half of his load, dumping it on the nearest bed.

"What is all this?" I asked smiling.

"Well," pushing the hair out of his eyes, "I thought we could keep ourselves busy while we're here. I mean you've got your books, and I don't really read. So I figured I'd keep myself busy."

I smiled and looked at what he'd brought down. There was wizard's chess, various prank comic books, and lots of paper and drawing papers. Sirius was a really great drawer. He could draw anything, anywhere, it was amazing.

"I'll play you at wizard's chess," I said, sitting down on the bed. I knew that was his favorite game. I saw a glint of a smile on his lips.

"Um..," He glanced over at James's curtain, "Sure, why not?"

He sat down on the bed beside me, and took out the chess board. We played for about ten minutes before I'd gotten him in a checkmate. Twenty minutes later, he'd lost again. I had thought about letting him win at least once, to cheer him up, but then decided against it when he hexed my chess knight to do the chicken dance. I think keeping his mind on something else but guilt and pain did him good. I swear I saw a hint of the old, carefree Sirius underneath his glazed eyes. It was refreshing to have something almost normal for a change.

"Hey, as you're obviously beating me here, what do you say we go and get something to eat?" As he spoke, I realized that I hadn't eaten since the full moon. It was only then I felt my stomach grow for the first time.

"Yeah. Sure." I said putting away the chess board, which I think Sirius was grateful for (considering I'd beat him three times in a row).

As we headed down to the Great Hall, I noticed that Sirius had lightened up a bit. He seemed to want to keep his mind off of recent events. I think it did him a lot of good to get out of the hospital wing for a while. I think it did us both a lot of to be out of that place for a while.

We arrived at the Great Hall just in time for supper. It was still in the normal setting as it would be for a regular school day. All the house tables were there, even though there were only about three people at each table. The staff table was relatively full however, and they all seemed to notice as Sirius and I entered.

Sirius also seemed to notice all the attention we were receiving. He noticeably stiffened at my side. He made to turn around and leave, but I pushed him forward. At the staff table, Dumbledore smiled kindly at us, which seemed to help Sirius relax a little.

We quietly took some seats at the end of the Gryffindor table. There were only about five others at the table further down. About halfway down was a group of fourth year girls, staring at us with great interest, and further was a fifth year couple who didn't seem to notice anyone else in the room but each other.

"Are you alright?" I asked, as Sirius stared down at the table.

"Yeah, I just want to eat and get out of here, that's all." He said. I could tell he wasn't comfortable around other people just yet. "I want to be there when they wake up, that's all."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I said sadly.

Dumbledore clapped his hands and food appeared on the tables. We piled the food on our plates. We took more than anyone, considering we hadn't eaten anything in two days. I filled my plate with turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, while Sirius filled up on cake and pudding.

"You're going to make yourself sick eating like that." I said as I stared at him with amusement.

He just grinned mischievously, "Pass me the pie please."  
We laughed for awhile, then became consumed in our plates. Sirius kept glancing around at the others in the room, as they were staring at us constantly, even some of the teachers. He seemed uncomfortable, and I was beginning to share in that feeling. Dumbledore seemed to notice all the attention we were receiving, and looked at us apologetically. I looked up at Sirius, he nodded. We slowly got up, and exited the Great Hall, completely aware of the eyes staring at our backs.

"Well, that could have went better," I said as we climbed the staircases, on our way back to the hospital wing.

Sirius was staring at his feet, he remained silent.

"Hey, maybe they've woken up by now." I said, trying to break the silence.

Sirius stayed quiet.

"Um…….so what do you want to do when we get back?" I said, desperate to get some kind of reaction from him.

He merely shrugged his shoulders.

"Damn it Sirius! What's wrong?"

A/N: Ok guys, I'm sorry this chapter is so boring, but I need some in between to get to the good stuff right? Yep..

Manager: I am so sorry it has taken me ages but, you know, it slipped my mind and the author im going to beg to help with her own story...

the show must go on!


	6. Confusion

Disclamer: Nope. I own nothing HP.

He looked up at me and stared right into my eyes. "I feel so guilty," He said to me, and his eyes showed it. "I keep telling myself that if I don't think about it, then maybe I'll just wake up. Maybe James's will be standing over me with a smile on his face. I'll get up and see Remus across the room. Hell, maybe I'd even be glad to see Peter. I just keep telling myself that it's not really happening."

At this, Sirius stopped walking. I didn't know what to say to him, and I could hear the students in the Great Hall filing out, they would reach us in a matter of moments. I knew he didn't need anymore attention that night. "Come on.." I said, taking his hand and leading him into a nearby classroom.

He followed me quietly into the dark room. I used my wand and lit a torch near the door. Sirius walked slowly over to one of the desks near the back and slumped in a chair. I turned and went over to him, and pulled up a chair next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder, signaling that he could continue. He just stared ahead of him, and I saw a smile play on his lips.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked uncertainly, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts, but wanting him to explain.

"I can see why James has such a thing for you Lily," he said, "Your really not that bad when your not busy being angry at me and throwing stuff." He smirked at me.

I slapped him on the arm for his last remark, "Aw, thanks, I'm flattered."

His face grew kinder, "I really mean it," he said, looking into my eyes, "You're a really good listener, like….Remus." he said his friends name quieter than he had previously been speaking. I smiled at him, which seemed to help him get over saying Remus's name. "What I mean to say is, thank you. I don't know what I would do if you hadn't been here for me, that's all."

As we stood up to leave, I gave him a hug. We walked back to the hospital wing in a comfortable silence, thinking about our newfound friendship.

After Sirius and I had returned from the Great Hall, (or our encounter with the outside world as Sirius put it) we returned to the hospital wing for the rest of the night. Sirius sat by Remus for a while, and I sat behind James's curtain reading a book. I kept trying to concentrate on the story, but my eyes always ended up on James.

He looked so pale and helpless lying there. Madam Pomfrey was constantly giving them nourishing potions. They were sustaining enough, but they needed real food soon, they looked like he would blow away. I brushed the hair away from his frail face, and looked at his closed eyes. I was so scared for him. It was then that I first felt anything but hatred toward James Potter, it was the first time that I'd felt love.

At that moment, I scared myself with my own thoughts. I stood up quickly, too quickly. I knocked over my chair, disrupting the quiet Hospital Wing. I tried to catch it, but to no avail. Sirius came rushing in moments later.

"What's happened?" he asked frantically, "Has he woken up?" he added hopefully. But as he glanced sadly over at his friends bed, sadness once again overtook his eyes. I was too stunned to even talk to him, I was still confused about what I had just thought to myself. I tried desperately to push it out of my mind, but it kept coming back, I cared about what happened to James Potter. Ignoring Sirius's question, I backed out of the curtain, and to another bed in the far corner of the room. I lay down with my back to everyone. I heard Sirius come out of the curtain, but he didn't attempt to come over to me. As I gazed at the stone wall, and felt myself drift into an uneasy sleep.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Hospital Ward  
(Four days before Christmas Eve)

I woke up in the same bed that I had retreated to the night before. I groaned and turned over on my other side. My muscles ached from sleeping in an uncomfortable position all night.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room to look for Sirius. The only movement I could see was Madam Pomfrey quietly giving Remus another potion. I couldn't see Sirius either. My guess was that he was either behind James's curtain, or getting food. I was leaning toward the former, considering what had happened last time we went to the Great Hall. I silently got out of my bed and went over to James's curtain.

"Sirius?" no answer, "James?" I added as an afterthought. Still no answer.

I slipped into the makeshift room and looked around, Sirius was not there. Only James, in the same place he'd been all week. I sighed and sat down next to him. He looked a little better than he had yesterday. His face was regaining some of its color, and as I gently touched his hand, I noticed that his skin was not as clammy as it was last night.

I felt a little apprehensive about being alone with James again, even if he couldn't hear me or talk to me. It was the things I was beginning to feel. I didn't even know why I was feeling them. When he was awake and around me, he always got on my nerves. But I think it was the way Sirius talked about him. The James he talked about sounded so nice, so likeable. I didn't know anything about him, I didn't even know his middle name. All I knew was that he looked so peaceful. I reached out and touched his face gently. It was so warm.

As soon as I realized what I was doing, I quickly recoiled my hand. Though this time, I didn't leave the room. I continued to stare at him, longing to touch his face again. I slowly reached out my hand, but stopped, leaving it hovering just above his cheek. I so wanted to touch his cheek, to feel his warmth, but deep inside myself, I knew I couldn't do it. Just then, Sirius came into the curtain, saving me from having to make that decision. I realized that my hand was still next to his face, and I quickly pulled it back again, and looked at the floor, embarrassed.

"Lily-" He started, but he was quickly interrupted by the Headmaster who came bursting in.

"Mr. Black! Ms. Evans! I must request that you exit the hospital wing immediately-" The Headmaster was the next to be interrupted, this time by Madam Pomfrey who came in and pushed right by Dumbledore and began collecting various potion bottles that were scattered around the makeshift room. Dumbledore went to assist her, and they quickly exited the curtain. Sirius and I followed right behind them.

Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey went strait to Remus's bedside. Madam Pomfrey shouted at us again to leave the room. We both started toward the doorway, but Sirius kept looking back. As we both turned outside the room, I started to close the big doors. I took one last glance at Remus, and I took in a sharp breath. Just as the doors clicked together, I saw his face, and his eyes, staring back at mine. He was awake.


End file.
